The Self-Love Marathon

It's been a while since I've written a post, or at least it feels like it's been. I can't exactly put my finger on what exactly has changed in the past week and a half or so, but I haven't felt much like myself. I guess that's not a bad thing considering I had a less than pleasant view of myself about a couple months ago. My self-love journey is far from over, but I'm definitely headed in the right direction and have made progress.

I wouldn't say I've crossed the "I love myself whole-heartedly" finish line, but as far as my short-term goals go, I'd say I'm about halfway through the marathon. I've never actually ran a marathon, or anywhere close, but this is how I imagine it goes.

The beginning is good, fun even. You are pumped up ready to go and the first couple of miles are cake. The adrenaline is at full throttle and there is an extra pep in your step as you run along the mapped out route, one foot in front of the other. That's how I felt the first couple of weeks, when I first decided to change my life. I felt like I was flying–a rhythmic flow. I was balanced and ready and free.

Now I can see that this past week must be my midway point, a challenge in the road. I started to slow down. I was tired, weary, dehydrated. The initial high faded and I started to see the run for what it really is: hard work. I started walking. My smile faded. Things became harder and I began to question myself. The regret starts to kick in now, "Why did I decide to commit to this awful endeavor?"

After taking time and slowing down, I am starting to realize that I may finally be past the midway point. This is the part in the race where you see all of your friends and family on the sideline, holding up a sign, cheering you on. This is the part of the race where I am stopping to refill my camel back with water and am given a nutritious fruit bar from a volunteer. I am energized and getting ready to finish strong.

Let me just say this is probably the longest metaphor-simile duo I have ever written about my life, but you can't deny that there is some truth to it. Here's to all of us crossing that finish line.