Flowing Into 2019 Like—

2019 BABY! I'm actually astonished that I made it through the hell that was 2018. The ups and downs have been tremulous and there were times throughout the year where I questioned everything—my relationship, my job, my existence in general.

I'm feeling optimistic about this upcoming year, even though it's an odd number which for some reason makes my skin crawl a little bit. Even numbers just seem more positive to me in general. Weird, I know. I have a feeling it is going to be a year of big change and new beginnings. It's the last year in the two thousand teens and will be the last hoorah before 2020 (I can't even begin to think about 2020 right now lol).

We celebrated the new year in Corolla, NC with a group of friends I met in college. It was actually kind of unusual for me to go to this without Becca, who I usually have a crutch in awkward situations. To be honest, I only really knew a few of the people going, but I figured I would give myself an opportunity to meet new people and open up. There were high highs from the trip but also some low lows—like when this b*tch screamed her dumb head off about me breaking a glass. She's a whole new level of crazy and needs to take the entire bottle of chill pills.

Regardless, I woke up on New Year's Day with a slight hangover but bright vision of what's to come. The first thing I wanted to do was walk on the beach. I love looking out into the ocean. It reminds me how small I am and how little my problems and worries really are in the grand scheme of things. I can't wait to see what the universe has in store for me.

I'm hoping for some serious growth. I need a push. I need change. I'm embracing everything that comes my way and learning from my mistakes. I want to come out on the other side a bigger and brighter person. I want to crush my fears, accomplish my goals, make new friends, nourish current relationships and give back to the world. I know my strength will be tested, but I'm ready for the challenge. Bring it on 2019.